Trusting God with Your Marriage
By Hannah Kentch
We were in the middle of singing, “Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders” when I began to relish the moment. Here I was in China thousands of miles away from anything comfortable or familiar. I felt fearless. Brave. I began thinking about the other nations I had visited and the work we had been able to do. I thought about that first step I took that required more courage than I thought was possible to leave everything and move to Florida to serve full time on the mission field.
Pride began to well up inside thinking, God leading me where my trust is without borders might be a one-time duty I can officially check off my list of awesomeness and proudly declare, “DONE."
I whispered in my heart, “Lord, I think I’ve got this 'trust without borders thing' in the bag."
I’m sure you can imagine our Father’s response to such pride and boasting. His kind voice replied with one word, “Marriage.”
My heart grieved hearing His voice, as I knew what He was showing me. Yes, I had trusted Him to leave everything. I had followed Him to nations. I had done things I never thought possible. Yet, in this one area I was withholding my trust from Him.
“Marriage,” He said.
The next two days were riddled with repentance and humility. I began recognizing and confessing my distrust as disobedience. I asked Holy Spirit to show me how to trust Him more, even with these most intimate parts of my heart.
Removing the Borders of my Trust in Him
In obedience to God’s leading, I confessed my disobedience to my team in China. I shared my deep-seated fears about marriage. How silly it all must have sounded considering that the majority of my team were married! I said for the first time out loud, "the kind of intimacy that marriage requires of being fully seen, loved, and accepted 100% of the time just doesn’t seem possible."
In fact, the very thought was terrifying.
The “Aha!” moment:
This “intimacy” I was so afraid of in marriage was exactly the kind of intimacy God was after in my relationship with Him.
My team surrounded me and began to pray. I could hear and feel God’s kind intentions towards me through their words and prayers. There was one particular word from a 17-year-old worship leader that came forth, that I believe is key for all of us beloved singles.
A White Wedding Dress, an Old Church and Exchanging Vows
Just as this ministry time seemed to be ending, this young woman began to speak,
“Hannah, I see you in a white wedding dress at an old church. You’re walking down the aisle and along the sides are all these people who know you and love you. They’re really proud of you and celebrating you. When you get to the end of the aisle, Jesus is the One standing there. He’s watching you and smiling as you come to Him. Once you reach Him, you take His hands and you begin to say your vows to Him. Then, you listen to Him say His vows to you. Then, you both turn around and the only person in the church is your husband. He’s sitting on the front row. Jesus leads you to him and places your hands in his.”
I sat there seeing her words play out in my mind as if watching a movie. It was “our” movie: mine, God’s and my husband’s.
When I returned from China, I was still raw from the work God began in my heart about marriage. I continued seeking Him to show me how He sees marriage. I asked Him to show me how to change it in my mind and heart into something NOT to be afraid of, and into something beautiful from Him.
The Covenant Promise
He took me back to our “movie”, the prophetic picture He spoke to a 17-year-old worship leader where we exchanged our vows at an old church. He showed me that during our times of intimacy together, that's us exchanging our vows.
There are times when it's Him saying His vows to me, reminding me of His promise to me. Other times, it's me repeating my vows to Him.
He also led me to study Covenant in the Bible.
I took time recently to stop everything and actually hear God’s vows to me, His Covenant Promise to me. I then wrote out my vows to God, my Covenant Promise to Him.
Now it’s your turn.
Take time right now. Close your eyes and ask God, “What are Your vows to me?”
As with all conversations, now is the time to listen. Trust His voice and your ability to hear Him.
“What are my vows to you?”
“Am I trusting You with my future, including my potential marriage?”
“Are there any lies I’ve believed about marriage?”
“If so, what do You want me to do about them?”
Over these next few days, take time to listen to Jesus’ vows to you and write them down. Then, prayerfully write out your vows to Him. Know that He has something He wants to show you to take you to a deeper, more intimate place in Him.
I can attest this was a very powerful experience that further sealed the Covenant Promise between us.